When we sit in a coaching session, invisible rules guide the dance between client and coach. Most of us sense it but rarely name it: implicit hierarchy. It’s not something written on the wall, but a living energy expressed in tone, posture, word choices, and even in silence. These subtle hierarchies shape the coaching experience, steering the flow in ways we don’t always see. We believe learning about this influence is essential for anyone who wants to coach, or be coached, with conscious intention.
What is implicit hierarchy and how does it appear?
Implicit hierarchy refers to the unspoken order of influence, power, or authority within any system or relationship. In organizations, in families, and in one-on-one encounters, these rankings and roles develop naturally. In coaching conversations, implicit hierarchy isn’t about one person being “the boss,” but about dynamics that decide who has more voice, direction, or responsibility at any moment.
These hierarchies can be shaped by:
- Professional status or expertise
- Cultural background or age
- Life experience
- Unconscious family roles carried into new interactions
Sometimes, we assume that because coaching promotes partnership, hierarchy disappears. In practice, it just gets quieter. When we pay attention, we notice how easily conversations slip into patterns—one partner leading, the other following.
Hierarchy is not always visible, but it is always present.
How implicit hierarchy shows up in coaching sessions
Most coaching is built on the idea of empowered clients, yet hierarchy can sneak in at the edges. In our experience, implicit hierarchy reveals itself in three main ways:
- Decision-making flow: Who guides the session’s direction? If the coach always drives or the client consistently waits for permission, hierarchy is shaping the flow.
- Language and tone: Listen to word choices. A coach who uses technical jargon or “should” statements can subtly claim authority, shifting the balance.
- Emotional safety: Clients are more likely to share deeply when they feel on equal footing. If they sense judgment or need to ‘perform,’ hierarchy may be at work.
We’ve also seen hierarchy subtly appear in posture, timing, and response to feedback. Even a fleeting hesitation can show where unspoken rank lives.
Where do these hierarchies originate?
We often bring patterns from our families, cultures, or workplaces. Even the concept of “coach” and “client” contains potential for hierarchy. If we value one type of knowledge or experience, we might unconsciously give more authority to the person who has it.
Some sources of implicit hierarchy include:
- Previous experiences with authority (teachers, parents, bosses)
- Cultural values around gender, age, and leadership
- Internalized beliefs about confidence or skill
- The purpose or framing of the coaching session itself
Many clients have reported feeling “less than” or worried about being judged. We have seen coaches hesitate to ask bold questions, worried about overstepping. These reactions tell a story about invisible ranks and roles formed long before the session started.
What happens to coaching when hierarchy goes unaddressed?
If implicit hierarchy remains unspoken, the coaching conversation loses depth, trust, and real collaboration. The client may silence their true concerns, choosing instead to please or mirror what they imagine the coach wants. The coach might try to “fix,” rather than accompany. Both become stuck in roles, missing a chance for genuine transformation.
Unspoken hierarchy can shrink what’s possible in the conversation.
We noticed that when coaches ignore hierarchy, feedback becomes harder to accept. Clients may nod along but feel unseen. Even celebrated breakthroughs can feel hollow if hierarchy shaped the journey. The best coaching happens when both people have permission to share, question, push, and yield.
Ways to recognize hierarchy while coaching
Spotting implicit hierarchy requires practice and humility. Over time, we’ve found some reliable signals:
- A pattern of client passivity or hesitation to disagree
- Coaches repeatedly steering rather than following curiosity
- Reduced laughter or ease in the session
- Overuse of expert language by either partner
- Client requests for reassurance before sharing “big” ideas
We once observed a session where every client idea ended with, “What do you think?” The coach, surprised, realized she had slipped into “teacher” instead of partner. Both named this openly, and the conversation shifted. Spotting hierarchy starts with honest attention.
How can coaches work with implicit hierarchy?
First, we must accept that hierarchy is normal—it is not a problem to solve, but a reality to engage. When coaches act as if partnership wipes hierarchy away, blind spots appear. Instead, the goal is to turn invisible patterns visible and choose how to relate to them.
Some practical ways we practice addressing hierarchy include:
- Naming hierarchy: Call out when rank appears, with curiosity, not shame. “I notice I’ve been talking a lot—does that feel okay for you?”
- Inviting challenge: Encourage clients to question advice, press back, or share disagreements.
- Balancing expertise and humility: Offer knowledge as options, not rules. Ask clients how suggestions land for them.
- Pausing for feedback: Check-in on process, not just content. “Is this conversation helpful? Should we shift anything?”
Working with implicit hierarchy is about opening space rather than filling it. Sometimes, this means letting silence linger or questions go unanswered. When we do this, clients often discover their own answers and power.
What’s possible when we honor hierarchy consciously?
Instead of pretending hierarchy disappears, we can become fluent in its language. We can ask, “Who has more voice right now? Where do I feel invited, or where do I step back?” When both coach and client share responsibility, lightness returns. Creativity rises. Difficult conversations become possible.
Real partnership is not the absence of hierarchy, but honest movement with it. In our work, we have seen sessions transform when this truth is named and respected. Clients step forward. Coaches soften. The conversation deepens because both people meet each other as they are, not as they think they should be.
When we see hierarchy, we expand choice.
Conclusion
Implicit hierarchy shapes every coaching conversation, whether we see it or not. Its presence can shrink or expand possibility. When coaches and clients become aware of hidden ranks, name them with openness, and stay flexible, coaching moves from old patterns to bold, mature partnership. We are convinced that the most courageous coaches are those who are willing to work in the gray areas—where power, voice, and responsibility shift and re-balance, session after session.
Frequently asked questions
What is implicit hierarchy in coaching?
Implicit hierarchy in coaching refers to the unspoken ranking or ordering of influence, authority, or status that exists between coach and client within a conversation. This can show up as one person always leading, the other always following, or in subtle ways such as tone, language, and body language. Even when coaches commit to partnership, these invisible orders shape the session’s direction and depth.
How does hierarchy affect coaching outcomes?
Hierarchy can affect coaching by limiting open dialogue, creativity, and trust. When hierarchy is unaddressed, clients may share less or feel hesitant to disagree, resulting in less genuine change. If both client and coach notice and discuss hierarchy, the partnership usually becomes stronger and the outcomes, more meaningful.
How to minimize hierarchy in conversations?
To minimize hierarchy, we recommend checking in regularly about the process, inviting challenge and disagreement, and sharing authority. Naming where you feel hierarchy appear, even briefly, can level the field. Encouraging the client to ask questions and give feedback helps maintain balance throughout coaching conversations.
Why is hierarchy important in coaching?
Hierarchy is important in coaching because it influences who feels free to speak, ask, or change. When coaches and clients recognize its effects, they can consciously shift the balance as needed, allowing for sessions that are more open, empowering, and respectful of individual agency.
Can implicit hierarchy harm coaching relationships?
Yes, if implicit hierarchy goes unchecked, it can harm coaching relationships. Clients may become passive or overly polite, withholding real issues. Coaches might fall into advice-giving instead of true listening. Honest, open acknowledgment of hierarchy allows for more authentic, resilient, and effective partnerships.
